[makinalivin]

After having a battle with our teens last night regarding chores. I just wanted to see if others are having the same issues. I hope that we aren't the only parents out there that do this or maybe we are the mean ones we are told we are. Thanks.

Chores

Dishes(we have a dishwasher) everyday including wiping down counters,stove and table. Three days a week soft scrub all counters

Bathroom (theirs and 1/2 bath) three times a week including floors and kitchen floor washing.

Walk Dog.

These chores go towards paying for their cell phone and unlimited texting. Then an allowence of 10 a month or more depending on their plans.

Signed
AM I UNREASONABLE????????

[sandyinholtwood]

My son's chores:

Every night: Clean-up the supper table, load the dishwasher and wipe off table, counter and stove.
Every week: Mow/weed wack the yard.
Every week: Unload the groceries from my car and put them away.

Other chores are thrown in on an as-needed basis, mostly vacuuming and dusting.

He gets paid $5.00/week, but since he wants unlimited texting, he pays me $10 a month for this.

[solitary]

You're not unreasonable, you're responsible.
I feel that kids should have chores and some sort of reward for completion as well as no reward for poor job or not doing them.

However, the gf doesn't want to put the effort into making the kids do the chores, which they don't do and they don't get the reward. I have a Herr von Trapp (sound of music) methodology, which means failure to comply results in severe swift punishment. Repeating this process I feel results in instant compliance for fear of reprisal. But that doesn't go over so well when mom's home. Oddly, if mom is not home, I have ZERO problems.

So I now resort to Ninja/Viet Kong/Anarchist's Cookbook methods. 14 year old doesn't pick up his clothes off the bathroom floor? The clothes are kicked across the hall to his room and his dirty underwear is placed on his pillow. Repeat daily for a few weeks. Kid now picks up his clothes. It will be interesting to see if this lasts all summer. If not, the dirty boxers will be stuffed in his pillow so they can ferment for a while before discovery.

[O311mc]

where is the beat thier azzes for not doing thier chores choice? flipside actually the reward for doing also.

[grieker]

After having a battle with our teens last night regarding chores. I just wanted to see if others are having the same issues. I hope that we aren't the only parents out there that do this or maybe we are the mean ones we are told we are. Thanks.

Chores

Dishes(we have a dishwasher) everyday including wiping down counters,stove and table. Three days a week soft scrub all counters

Bathroom (theirs and 1/2 bath) three times a week including floors and kitchen floor washing.

Walk Dog.

These chores go towards paying for their cell phone and unlimited texting. Then an allowence of 10 a month or more depending on their plans.

Signed
AM I UNREASONABLE????????

Better watch out, responsible parenting is a no-no. you are supposed to turn them loose on society and let society rear them. Where have you been? Under some conservative rock somewhere!

My congratulations to you, don't ever let up. As much as they may say they hate you now, they will eventually reflect back and tell you "thanks mom and dad". I get that quite often these days when we're talking and I say something and they reflect and say, "you know I hated you for that, but I am forever grateful that you did it."

[sandyinholtwood]

Better watch out, responsible parenting is a no-no. you are supposed to turn them loose on society and let society rear them. Where have you been? Under some conservative rock somewhere!

Yes, responsible parenting is a no-no. Don't make them work for anything, just give it to them!
My son thinks we are so unfair because he has to have a job AND buy his own car (with a little help from Mom and Dad). He has a friend whose parents bought him a $13,000 vehicle AND they give him gas money. We also preach RESPONSIBILITY. I keep telling him that one of these days he'll appreciate us!

[solitary]

One of the oldest's friends parents also bought him a car, not 13 grand, but still pretty expensive.
And insurance
and gas money
And the oldest doesn't account into it that this kid is basically an only child (older brother moved out five years ago) and his parents are well off. I expect the friend to end up being a basement dweller who will be completely lost in the real world because of this treatment. In fact, I think the loser quit school. I rarely see him.
But that doesn't matter. I could be worth a million bucks and my kid still would have gotten the $1,000 beater that he got. Why? Cause he was supposed to drive that into a mail box, not my car! (which he did).

When my car is fixed, he'll get the beater I'm driving to work now, cause we won't need three cars and his younger brother won't be driving for two more years. Scary as it sounds, at least his younger brother will know how to drive a standard which is good, cause that's all we own and will own unless one of us loses a leg. His older brother teaching him to drive was a chore, the transmission had little to do with it. Younger brother first attempted driving a standard when he was eight. That didn't go so well.

Making kids buy their own car has it's reward if they're able to find work close to home OR you're willing to schlep them to work until they have cash to buy one. For us, that wasn't an option. I wish it was though. Instead, beater it is.


Now, take your little snow flake aside, apologize for your behavior and hand him the car keys, $50 for a movie and your credit card so he can buy a new pair of Nikes.

[O311mc]

Now, take your little snow flake aside, apologize for your behavior and hand him the car keys, $50 for a movie and your credit card so he can buy a new pair of Nikes.

then beat his azz, after tasering him.

[makinalivin]

Glad to see other parents out there who want their kids to learn responsibility. I would have listed beat their azz as a punishment but then I be called a child abuser. Don't get me started on the car issue. I drive a beater and they want something nicer then mine. Hope they have rich relatives some where in this world. Thanks for all those responding. Thanks for making me laugh and easing the stress of last night.

Have a great day!!

This post has been edited by makinalivin: 20 May 2009 - 03:47 PM

[Bigmaclender2]

My oldest son get's his age in allowance. He is currently 17 years old so his allowance is $17.00.

[tugrad]

Our 15 year old has chores but we don't call them that. Since she could "help" around the house we have taught her that we are all members of this family and we all pitch in to make it work. She is responsible for setting the table, putting the clean dishes away, emptying the recycle bin (all daily) and mowing the lawn (weekly or as needed). We also reserve the right to add items as necessary due to family needs. Additionally, she is expected to VOLUNTEER to help us with things we are doing (yard work, painting, organizing) we have weekly cleaning ladies so generally there are not cleaning responsibilities except for her room (they don't clean that).

What she gets... to live here. Seriously, we don't get paid to do dishes or maintain the house and neither should she. We do however provide unlimited texting, wi fi internest access (limited), food, clothing, shelter, vacations, and we fund her entertainment needs (movies, music, etc).

If she doesn't take care of her responsiblites or if she sees us working and fails to offer to help (consistently, I mean we don't nail her the first time she forgets) or if she complains about taking care of her responsiblites then her access to resources, other than food, clothing and shelter, is limited until she shapes up!

[BeingReal]

TU, I love your style! I'll need you to remind me of the TU rules of parenting in the next few years. They currently help with clearing the table, but we'd love to get them to mow the lawn once they're old enough.

This post has been edited by BeingReal: 20 May 2009 - 09:19 PM

[littleg]

After having a battle with our teens last night regarding chores. I just wanted to see if others are having the same issues. I hope that we aren't the only parents out there that do this or maybe we are the mean ones we are told we are. Thanks.

Chores

Dishes(we have a dishwasher) everyday including wiping down counters,stove and table. Three days a week soft scrub all counters

Bathroom (theirs and 1/2 bath) three times a week including floors and kitchen floor washing.

Walk Dog.

These chores go towards paying for their cell phone and unlimited texting. Then an allowence of 10 a month or more depending on their plans.

Signed
AM I UNREASONABLE????????

yes ,you are unreasonable ,with yourself .the phones are gone for 32 days no ifs an's or but's prove yourself or the next time its all summer. a trip to the wood shed is also an option too. thats what I got and it worked

[LicenseForMayhem]

tugrad, that's pretty much how we do things here, too. When work needs to be done, I tell the older two what they need to do. They also have their ongoing responsibilities, like cleaning their rooms, caring for the dog, and so on. We don't give an allowance nor a reward for doing what responsible people are supposed to do, but there are consequences for failing at their assigned tasks. They might not be allowed to go out with friends, use the computer for fun, have kids over, and so on. We meet their needs and some wants and allow them to use the money they get for birthdays and so on as they see fit, so they get the experience of making money decisions and living with the consequences.

[Beth]

Our household runs like TU's mostly. We pretty much all chip in til the chores are done. We've never did the allowance thing. So our children have learned to be very frugal with any money that comes into their possession. They get money when they need it for the things they really need. The fun stuff comes on birthdays and Christmas and other special occasions.

Groundings rarely happened here, but were mostly for disrespect and coming home late without notice, or if they were caught shading the truth to get away with something.

When we were kids we were often told to do things, but never shown how to do them in the most efficient way, so then we were screamed at for doing them wrong. I never wanted it to be that way for mine, so we do what needs done together that way they learned to do things by being shown. So when we're away they now know how to go ahead and do what needs done without us being there. Of course when we're not there they fought/fight among themselves to get away with doing less than the other. Still happens with the 2 at home who are 18 and 21.